D I S C O N T E N D E D

+ I had my overtime work until 8 pm today :(

+ I miss having someone for sharing my day

+ I'll have my flight in early morning to Jogjakarta tomorrow, but until this late I haven't pack my luggage yet

+ Just thinking to cut my hair . . .

+ Still wondering why, and how

+ Time goes by, I'm sober but completely empty inside

wish me a nice flight tomorrow, ok?

S R I K A N D I

It's April, and raining outside. In Indonesia, April will be labelling as Kartini's day, April 21th. Although I spent my childhood in Sumatera and Kalimantan, but i think some javanese custom still stuck on my mind. It could be caused by my dad who has a predicate as a Jogja's indigenous. Hm, I don't know exactly when I'd starting this, but until now I can't get enough of anything about Srikandi.

Srikandi is a goddess in Javanese legend. She is Prabu Dupadra's daughter, king of The Pancala. Her mom is Dewi Gandawati, the descendant of Prabu Gandabayu and Dewi Gandini. The siblings of Srikandi are Dewi Drupadi (wellknown as Dewi Kresna) and Arya Drestadumna. This is the best part from Srikandi: she had passion in a military and expert using the arrow. She got this from her husband, named Arjuna. She has no son from Arjuna, pitiful. But until now, she is a legendary for women soldier. She's smart, strong, struggle, and superb. There's many version of Srikandi's life. I just adore her as a trully hero.

In our life, I'm sure all of you have a part of being surrender with a woman. Who for? Yeah, It can be your mom, your dear, your sister, or anyone! Trust me, being a woman is not as pretty easy as it looks. We have a lot of emotions more than our material logic. But sometimes we can do the logically-impossible things in an impossible way. Why? Hahaha, because we have that hidden power. Yhuhu, we rock!!

Sometimes it feels hard being the first daughter in my family, besides I have a javanese blood in mine. Before I want to act about something, my brain's button will be automatically switched into this mode: think what people think about that. Damn, it's just like a confusing reaction! Being a first daughter will be the first of anything. I'll be asked by myself for this word everyday: treasury. But now, I learn that: everyone must be a hero for theirself. You have to start something different to make a change.

Last week I was traveling to Semarang and Yogyakarta. As always: duty call. I won't tell a lot of stories about this project, but I'll share some moments which is captured in time, okay :)

Hm, when I back to Jakarta, I did some photo session with my lil sis (again), oh great, she's great in posing along. Do some freelance photograph can make a desire inside, enjoy my shots :

::: p L a y f u L L :::

credit title:

the model vs the photographer :)

Whispering...

why'd ya have to be so cute ?

it is impossible to ignore you..

must you make me laugh so much?

It's bad enough we get along so well..

say goodnight and go

T e c h n o c r a c y

Dear Pap & Ibu,

HAPPY 24th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY !

Thank you for giving us (your three turtles) the groove of bloody bound

Dearly love,

yours

S p i r a l i n g

Hi people, it's saturday night... What are you doing right now? Having a date.. Gathering with family and friends.. Enjoying a party.. Or, forgetting your spouse, huh? hehe..

I just have had my shower this late. Today was a clamor one. I had my overtime work until 3 pm, my devision was commanded to do some recruitment process for a vacant position, i was conducting the test for at least 100 persons who listed as the candidates. Yesterday I was traveling to Bandung, I did a selection for production technician position at Politeknik Bandung. It was awful, none passed the test. When I was on my way back to the office, geez.. the traffic (bdg-jkt) made me so frustrated. I had accompanied by the driver, pak Heri Wibowo (he's a nice driver:), we stucked for 2 hours, coz i felt so tired, pak Heri offered for driving me back to my boarding house directly, and I agreed. Exhausted.

After those today-overtime stuffs completed, I just entered my room promptly, then I overwhelmed in my bed until 8pm. Hoho, ticktock-ticktock! My hair is still wet now, not having my dinner reluctantly, therefore i just have a cut of one raisin bread which is stabled in my faithful refrigerator.. I'm bewildering. Then I realized: I need a vacation.

So, my schedule for tomorrow will be:

1. Wake up early morning coz I have to soak some of my clothes and wash all of those which can't be transfered to any laundry-spot in this entire country in this world. Oh yes, I'm a sexy laundress!! yeahaa!!

2. Re-arrange my dish drawer, wipe my floor then mop it, then.. make sure all my dress in my wardrobe placed on the right space.

3. Hm.. what about my bookcase.... (hm, i think... it can wait.... -hehehe..- passed!)

Peace yoo ! ~ hehe...

Oh, okay, it looks like very weary, right? :D How about if I make it 4, become: search for a flight to Jogja.

Hey yeah! On April 9th will be held the national general election day! It means free day off! Oh great, it's Thursday! I have to observe my office's status for Friday, let's cross our finger and wishing the Friday delivering our freedom! Peace yo ~

How do you spiral your life? Hehe, spiral.. this' my word to describe "pomp-up the mood when I feel gloomy". If I had a bad day, I just one click away to a link with my gorgeous inspiration: Imogen Heap. I love the lyrics she had created, pure and strong. I love how she dresses herself up too. She's so unique. Maybe some of you have that "spiral-matter" too!! Music.. Stuff.. Activities.. or maybe, someone..

Yeah someone. Have you meet someone in one time, when you found this creature, you just feel so.. free! Intimate and close, recharge, hertbeat immediately beating so fast, and you feel happy! But it just secretly happens, you won't let anybody knows about this, and it will be positive if I give another addition condition: even though he/she is your zest vitamin but you still don't have the right time to make a chitchat with. Have you?

I hope, I can get a ticket for flying to Jogja, there will be a lot of things I'll do there. I miss the simplycity of life in that town. I can hang around to many places with only a flipflop and casual outfit. Yeah, honestly I have an obligation to be fulfilled in Jogja, it's my baby, named Alaya. Somebody had scratched her with (oh, i hate to say this) completely shattered in her left side. It happened when I parked her in somewhere I think it was safety enough for Alaya. So i felt so restless being ignore her. Also my dad was very angry with me when he did an unexpectedly inspection when he came to jogja, geez...!! He gave me a word: unresponsible. Admitted: my mistake. That's why I think I have to learn to use public transportation when I spotted in Jakarta right now. I ought to. There's no excuse for me for always use the facilities which is given by my parents, and the best thing for living in jkt is nobody knows exactly who I am, hehehe... I'm enjoying my romance approximation with some men named: busway, taxi, metro (bus), or angkot (hihi, it's like regional transportation). I know it's not convenient to do, but I try to make it as my ABC of growing up.

i'll come to you, al..

Hh, okay, i have to say hi to my beauty sleep now ;) Have a great Sunday!

yeah! Sunday will always be a beautiful day!!

Tiredness

Anybody knows what is the instrument for measuring a word named success?
Money?
Happy family?
Dreams become reality?
Surrounding by people who love us with tender and care?
Having all the passion and the stuffs which desirously wanted?

W h a t ?

I do want to have a relationship with a man who gets success in his life. In this statement, I make a highlight that success is able to fulfill all the promises and responsibility which had been given to him. This' not only about words. It's about integrity.

When we talk about integrity, it would be scooped by honesty - trustworthiness - soundness - freedom from faults or defects, wholeness and completeness.

I really mean it.

I do know a man. He was so gorgeously inside, in the past. He had given a woman his dreams, and shared every little thing with his honesty. He was so forcefull to get all that he wanted. But I think I agree with a quote which says that a man can't live without possessions, throne and woman.

That's what I'm talking about: responsibility, where can i find a man with this word?

Living My Life

What's life, anyway? (Hh, Gosh... do I sound like a hypocritical one?). But I obviously miss my life.

Since being an employee, i just lost everything which I pleased to do: writing, reading, laughing, and... me time.

Everyday, I have to wake up at 5 for chasing Subuh, then I have to prepare myself, and leave my room at 06.30. If there's no overtime work, I can leave the office at 06.00, it makes the consequence that I'll be able to arrive at my boardinghouse at utmost 07.30.

My life equals with a timetable. Honestly, I hate the 'timetable' part.

I feel tired... I feel lost... Where's Faj when I need him right now? He asked me whether I could work in this city therefore he could catch me up everytime. But those line's existing such some words until now. He still make his work as his priority.

every morning meeting - table

I feel like I'm chasing pavement right now!! He's just not him. After AAC project and whatever-his film-and videoclip-projects, I just can't recognize him anymore. I really can't...

Should I give up . . .

I just trying to be honest with myself, my life.. with everyone.. especially with the person whom I wish I could rely on, but none could give that honesty back at me. It feels hurt...

Nobody knows.

Ps. Good luck with your Queen Bee film project, hon. I've always pray the best for you, although I don't know what would you do to me if u're going to be that best.