Some of my love relationship ended with uncertainty. Never cheated or having affair while predicated in a relationship with someone, always try to be a loyal and sweet tender little girl, and the stupidest thing which ever happened was not being myself while running a relationship, in the name of love, how stupid. Every time I decide to start a new one, I’ve made a promise in myself that I have to be a big girl, letting go everything which had happened in my past love life, even it was a very beautiful moment for sure. And I learned, and there’s always many lessons to be learned. Poor me, imagine you’ve done everything to make someone happy, always be there when he needs your fairy hands *absolutely hate this superwoman part. Gee, I wont do this again.
There were some boys whom I had fallen in love with some years ago. Flowers delivery every night, many short stories he had wrote in a weekly local newspaper, lots of uniqueness methods which always made me amaze, poems, periodically message on my favorite radio station, and lots of sweetness things which I cant hold on those. Thought me how to dream with our own thought, gave me freedom, everyday was so interesting. How forceful it was made.
Every time I felt a broken heart, I was just wishing that I was a musician who could play a piano and guitar so I wouldn’t give my precious tears down for nothing. I wish I don't have asthma and have an extra budget for having a cigarrette for wasting my time and forget this man, and many if-only-i-was. But I’m not that gifted one, I just made myself tired everyday with crying all night long listening too many songs until the morning came and poked me with a big-panda-eyes while my
Slowly but sure I've tried to move on, and kept on running with my world, I tried to fix my heart, but I’m not a person who could make a good relation of a lover turned into friend relationship, it’s so not me at all. So for my best, when I got the time realize a relationship had to passed from my life, I immediately erased and threw away everything related with. Phone number, photos, messages, stuffs, and anything, anything about the boyfriend-thing, I wont discuss any situation between me and him. It’s enough, I’m done. Either just one HI word, just no. This is the way to appreciate and give honor for myself.
And now, after many loves and broken hearts, I decide for not wasting my time to let stupidity tragedy ruin my life again but I’m so thankful for knowing that-missing-part people in my life. Apologize if I have to end the relationship with coldness, I’m sorry if I just hurt you with surrender for your ignorance, apologize if I won’t give you greetings anymore. I wouldn’t go if the reason not killing me too much, I wont stay with the uncertainty too long.
With this new lovely man, please wish me luck. Mystery and surprises still locking this castle of life. But his love and smiles will always work for this Belle.