Selamat Ulang Tahun Papah

Pah.. Selamat Ulang Tahun ya..

Sehat selalu.. Sayang kita selalu.. Ganteng selalu..

Papah yang hebat selalu..

(Padang, August 18th 2009)

Suddenly I See

One of the greatest thing I'll always remember from my childhood is a cup of hot chocolate milk in my every-little girl-day. I had to drink it from a fully volume, then finished it until the last drop. I do this since (hm... i can't remember the time specifically) I was in a red-white uniform (it's elementary school, dude..=p) until I reached my high school period. It has been disappeared when I was starting my college time, I've been living by myself in my parent's house in Jogja at that time, owyees you're right, it caused by i'm too lazy to make a cup of milk every morning of course, hehe... It sounds simple huh, but I'll tell you what make it special as being a part of my life: my mother.

I rarely have mother-daughter time with her. When every girl has been spending their adolescent period with sharing the stories about everything which had been happened that day, telling whom they love at the present, learning how to stick on make up on their face, buying their first bra, sparing opinions about the fashion we're wearing... Hufp, neihaa... it just happened (maybe) twice in a year. My mom has a career in her life, she'd been doing her seven-five activity each day in a whole week, then on Saturday-Sunday, her status will became with out of home with her office's mate. I've to admit this, at that time I hate to have a mother like her, at that time, but the best thing I'll always remember about her is she'd been always spend her rush schedule with making breakfast for my family every morning, and yes i'll repeat it again, the best part is that hot chocolate milk -part. I always sad when my mom had to go out of city for her duties. I just noticed this when someday I wake up in a morning-school-day, then I realized that there was no hot chocolate milk which my mom usually made. I felt so.. gloomy, and suddenly I see, it was hurt when I realize I was having a day without her. Although everyday was only represented by a cup of hot chocolate milk.

I often to think, how the world will run if there's no me in there. Is it ok? Is there someone who will miss me that much? Or will it feel miserable so far? What does it feel? Do I really matter with my own life? And of course there's so many other WHATS which keep dancing in my blank experimental mind.

I have a relationship named bestfriend with not more than five if I want to spell it on quantity. But thank God, my bestfriends are people with their great life.

Bestfriend is a subject who will always search and miss you when you're undiscovered, bestfriend will always know how to make you safe and warm. How can I know...

This' not first time I do think about this. When this feeling come to my mind, I usually make myself dissapears for a while in my own world. Turn off my mobile phone, go to the place I don't know, driving all day long around the city, and living somebody's world. It's like stopping my own personality become somebody that I really want at that time. And it will feel good when I return to my real life and there're many people will be asking me with this magical words, "where have you been, dear.."

That will make an answer how a day in the world will run without me :)

I've found this pop draw when last week I visited my house in bekasi. I've made it in the past when I was feeling alone. I was so happy when I found this kind of scrawl. For me, a sketch can recall a memory behind, but if it was bad, i'll remember that with a process I've successfully passed with a great mark ;)